shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
