I hope mine doesn't look like that
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
