I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize