every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
two words: eviction party
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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