Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
