the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
