I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
