I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
