His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize