i just had sex bonerless
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
