How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
