if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
