Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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