1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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