bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
