My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
