yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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