my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
