Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
