Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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