yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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