After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
