NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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