i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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