eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
