Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
