cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
