you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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