I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
