He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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