theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
