ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
