dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
