im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
