she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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