he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
