Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
