I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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