The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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