consequently i now know what mace tastes like
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
