And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
