dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
