a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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