Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
