kristin has been a bad kristin
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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