shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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