There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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