If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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