oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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