I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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