I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
