I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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