I have demons in me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize