The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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