fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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