i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
