the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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