She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
