like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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