well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
