very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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