I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
