I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
there is glitter all over my balls
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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