420 ftw
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
