it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
