I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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