apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
